Louise M. Gouge
I slammed my bedroom door and leaned against it. Was there no
rest from this life? I stumbled to my bed and dropped onto it,
pressing my pillow around my ears to shut out the noise of my
God," I cried, "Let me sleep. Let me sleep forever and never wake
With a deep sob, I tried to will myself into oblivion, then welcomed
the blackness that came over me.
Light surrounded me as I regained consciousness. I focused on
its source: the figure of a man standing before a cross.
child," the person asked, "why do you want to come to Me before
I am ready to call you?"
I'm sorry. It's just that…that I can't go on. You see how
hard it is for me. Look at this awful burden on my back. I simply
can't carry it anymore."
haven't I told you to cast all of your burdens on Me, because
I care for you? My yoke is easy and My burden is light."
knew You would say that. But why does mine have to be so heavy?"
child, everyone in the world has a burden. Perhaps you would like
to try a different one."
can do that?"
He pointed to several burdens lying at His feet. "You may try
any of these."
of them seemed to be of equal size, and each was labeled with
Joan's," I said. Joan was married to a wealthy businessman. She
lived in a sprawling estate and dressed her three daughters in
the prettiest designer clothes. Sometimes she drove me to church
in her Lexus when my car was broken.
me try that one." How difficult could her burden be? I thought.
The Lord removed my burden and placed Joan's on my shoulders.
I sank to my knees beneath its weight.
take it off quickly! What makes it so heavy?"
I untied the straps and opened the top. Inside was the figure
of her mother-in-law, and when I lifted it out, it began to speak.
you'll never be good enough for my son. He never should have married
you. You're a terrible mother to my grandchildren…"
I quickly placed the figure back in the pack and withdrew another.
It was Donna, Joan's youngest daughter. Her head was bandaged
from the surgery that had failed to cure her epilepsy.
A third figure was Joan's brother. Addicted to drugs, he had been
convicted of killing a police officer.
see why her burden is so heavy, Lord. But she's always smiling
and helping others. I didn't realize..."
you like to try another?" He asked quietly.
I tested several. Paula's felt heavy. She was raising four small
boys without a father. Debra's did too: a childhood of sexual
abuse and a marriage of emotional abuse. When I came to Ruth's
burden, I didn't even try. I knew that inside were arthritis,
old age, a demanding full-time job, and a beloved husband in a
all too heavy, Lord. Give me back my own."
As I lifted the familiar load once again, it seemed much lighter
than the others.
look inside," He said.
I turned away, holding it close. "That's not a very good idea."
a lot of junk in there."
The gentle thunder of His voice compelled me. I opened my burden.
He pulled out a brick.
Me about this one."
You know. It's money. I know we don't suffer like people in some
countries or even the homeless here in America. But we have no
insurance, and when the kids get sick we can't always take them
to the doctor. They've never been to a dentist. And I'm tired
of dressing them in hand-me-downs."
child, I will supply all of your needs…and your children's.
I've given them healthy bodies. And I will teach them that expensive
clothing doesn't make a person valuable in My sight."
Then He lifted out the figure of a small boy. "And this?"
"Andrew…" I hung my head, ashamed to call my son a burden.
"But, Lord, he's hyperactive. He's not quiet like the other two.
He makes me so tired. He's always getting hurt and someone is
bound to think I abuse him. I yell at him all the time. Someday,
I may really hurt him…"
"My child, if you will trust Me, I will renew your strength. If
you allow Me to fill you with My Spirit, I'll give you patience."
Then He took some pebbles from my burden.
"Yes, Lord, those are small. But they're important. I hate my
hair. It's thin, and I can't make it look nice. I can't afford
to go to the beauty shop. I'm overweight and can't stay on a diet.
I hate all my clothes. I hate the way I look!"
"My child, people look at your outward appearance, but I look
at your heart. By My Spirit, you can gain self-control to lose
weight. But your beauty should not come from outward appearance.
Instead, it should come from your inner self, the unfading beauty
of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in My sight."
My burden seemed lighter than before.
"I guess I can handle it now," I said.
"There is more," He said. "Hand Me that last brick."
"Oh, You don't have to take that. I can handle it."
"My child, give it to Me." Again His voice compelled me. He reached
out His hand, and for the first time I saw an ugly wound.
"But, Lord, this brick is so awful, so nasty, so…Lord! What
happened to Your hands? They're scarred!"
No longer focused on my burden, I looked up for the first time
into His face. On His brow were ragged scars – as though
someone had pressed thorns into His flesh.
"Lord," I whispered, "what happened to You?"
His loving eyes reached into my soul.
"My child, you know. Hand Me the brick. It belongs to Me. I bought
"With My blood."
"But, why, Lord?"
"Because I have loved you with an everlasting love. Give me the
I placed my filthy brick into His wounded palm. It contained all
the dirt and evil of my life: my sins, my pride, my selfishness,
the depression that constantly tormented me.
He turned to the cross and hurled my brick into the pool of blood
at its base. It hardly made a ripple.
"Now, My child, you must go back. I will be with you always. When
you are troubled, call to Me and I will help you and show you
things you cannot even imagine now."
"Yes, Lord. I will call on You."
I reached down to pick up my burden.
"You may leave that here if you wish. You see all these burdens?
They are the ones that others have left here at My feet. Joan's,
Paula's, Debra's, and Ruth's, and many others. When you leave
your burden here, I carry it with you. Remember, My yoke is easy
and My burden is light."
As I placed my burden with Him, the light began to fade. Yet I
heard Him whisper, "I will never leave you nor forsake you."
A peace that passed my understanding flooded my soul. I stood
tall and walked back into life.
"Come unto Me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and
I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me;
for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto
your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light."
—Matthew 11:28-30. (KJV)
Copyright ©1993 Louise M. Gouge
All rights reserved.